kaffy_r (kaffy_r) wrote,
kaffy_r
kaffy_r

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Dept. of Stupidity, C'est Moi

Well, If Not Stupidity Then Unbelievable Ridiculousness

This week has been  notable for only a couple of things chez CasakaffyrBB, (other than the 90 degree heat we're now experiencing) and both of them have to do with my apparent inability to walk and chew gum at the same time.

On Wednesday, I put together some cashew chicken, and mixed it up with some softened rice noodles in the wok. It smelled really good, although when I roasted the cashews and the tablespoon full of dried chilis, I started coughing. That should have alerted me to the problem, but didn't. Then when I taste tested the finished product, just prior to adding the rice noodles, I realized it was going to be hot. Very hot. Very, very hot.  JFC HOT.  I added a lot more rice noodles to the mix, and thought that might work to lessen the firepower.

Reader, it did not. 

I went back and looked at the recipe just a tad more closely. Ah. It called for a tablespoon of sliced hot red peppers, alright. However, it was clear that it was asking for a tablespoon of fresh red chile peppers. Not - I repeat not - a tablespoon of dried red chile peppers. 

This was not going to be pretty. 

I warned Bob, and said it was going to be JFC HOT, and that we should have milk on hand. I could see he didn't quite believe me. Until he did.

The final verdict on Wednesday? The rice noodles did nothing to ameliorate the heat, largely because they soaked up the very hot sauce, so they were just as hot as the food I'd hoped they could help.

Reader, we stopped eating. 

We also figured out a way to make the chicken, cashews, sweet peppers and mushrooms edible; I teased out all the rice noodles I could, then pitched them. I made a great deal of rice, which BB and I realized doesn't soak in liquids quite the same way rice noodles do, then made a new cashew chicken sauce with absolutely no heat in it. Success! It was still hot, but not "I do believe I'm fixing to die" hot. 

The second piece of stupidity/unbelievable ridiculousness? Apparently throwing out my vaccination card. I'm going to go through the piles on my desk again, but I have a feeling that I File 13'd it, not foreseeing that such a card might come in damned handy. I just figured it was something I could show to the nice soldier boys and girls who were giving vaccination shots to prove I'd had my first shot. 

Reader, I am an idiot.

Ah, well. Such is my life. 

Today, I made an apple harvest cake, and this particular iteration of the recipe came out really well. I think it's because I didn't make it solely with monkfruit sweetener, since I've discovered that the 0 calorie sugar substitute doesn't completely melt into the batter. I did a 50/50 mix with real sugar, and that was the right decision. 

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Tags: food, health, home stuff, life in the circus, stupidity
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