kaffy_r (kaffy_r) wrote,

Dept. of Nataldalia

Here's The Deal With My Deal With Birthdays

Why do I do this? Or more accurately, why do I do these things? Why do I fail to acknowledge peoples' birthdays, and then why do i do I try to make up for that failure by acknowledging past, present and future birthdays all in one huge post?

I don't know the answer to the first. I honestly don't know. I see birthday notifications coming up in my email, and somehow I end up shying away from them. That tendency probably started at some point when I just wasn't feeling like posting anything, and then snowballed, as the list of people's birthdays grew longer and more stale, and somehow The List of Birthdays grew to be a Thing. I have Things - we probably all have Things; things that grew to be important out of proportion because we didn't get to them, and which should, in all probability, be let go of. They become Things because we can't let go of them. And this is a Thing with me.

I have an idea about the answer to the second thing, but I acknowledge that it's contorted and Byzantine and in all likelihood a bad answer.

After all, there are huge down sides to the way I do it. In a way, I can see it as a crude and lazy way of trying to discharge a minor social ... not duty, but perhaps a minor social expectation. If I pitch it a certain way in my head, I can even wince at its crudeness - grimace at a sort of vulgarity in the assumption that a one-size-fits-all mass birthday greeting has to be good enough for the interesting, well-liked and sometimes beloved people to whom I belatedly make it.

So, again, I should just send the out-of-date birthday notifications to the trash and decide either to be better about notifications in the future, or stop wishing people "Happy Birthday" completely. That would make the most sense.

But I can't seem to do that. And I find it important that I acknowledge people on These Here Intarwebz. I often don't comment on their own sites, even when they say things that are brilliant about life or the things we mutually love. I often don't say things about how much I enjoyed their drabbles and their stories. I don't tell them nearly as often as I should that I feel for their troubles and hope they surmount or survive them. In short, I don't tell them how important I find their company.

Telling them that I hope their birthday was happy, or is happy, or will be happy, is one small way that I can do it. At least it seems that way to me in my head.

So I hope you'll forgive me for wishing you all very late birthday happiness. Because I do mean it, and you all are important to me.

Happy Birthday, newly-degree'd [personal profile] autographedcat ! And to [personal profile] joking , a wonderful writer; and todarkpike, who is funny and biting and who I don't talk to often enough; to the newly discovered and very creative [personal profile] masakochan ; to the rather amazing writer roachpatrol; togrbggrl from long ago and to the talented multi-fandom-writing astrogirl2.

I'm glad I know you all.

This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/227745.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.
Tags: birthdays, good people, interesting people, meanderings, self-absorption

  • Department of ... Uh ... Wow

    RTD, BBC? (Plus Timeless Child Brilliance from masakochan ) So, yes, Russell T. Davies is coming back as Who's showrunner. My f'list…

  • Dept. of Self Absorption

    Rout 66 Nope, that isn't a spelling mistake. That's the first four letters of my last name, and the number of years I have, as of Sept. 17, been…

  • Dept. of Memes

    Frankenstein Meme, Day 24 Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? Oh, a few. Harriet Jones didn’t die…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.